The First Chapter of the Semester
Plentiful things have happened these few months. Somehow, I felt the impact of every tiny little things that appeared in my life as well as those, vanished from my very own eyes. I could not comprehend most of the things but I do try to understand the nature of life.
Time for a reality check. I felt like myself turning into someone, somebody I could barely recognize if I were to compare myself from the day I came into this big city and the person I am today. Be it good or bad, I am in doubt, I am constantly analyzing my behavior and a warning alarm was always ready to be ignited. I do not want evolution. I do not wish to see myself walking out from the circle of society I have build so far. I do not wish to be different. I just wanted a simple life, and soon a wealthy one. But, there are situations where I am indeed yearning for a trial, an experience, a taste of humanity; a taste of what people described as life. I am yearning for those, looking forward for more life exposure. However, as I proceed, I am always surrounded by guilt; engulfed in the flame of fear, surrounded by the laughter of sinisterly evil and wicked souls. I am in much doubt, trying to sustain and control, and perhaps disabling myself would lead to a better outcome. Every single moment, what I did, will always be reviewed and I always regret my own decision but I still proceed with it. Somehow, I am a hypocrite to begin with, but I am very clear of my path, of my life and of my future. Whoever I am does not matter to me. I am everybody - just another person walking down the road in the streets of people.
Time for a reality check. I felt like myself turning into someone, somebody I could barely recognize if I were to compare myself from the day I came into this big city and the person I am today. Be it good or bad, I am in doubt, I am constantly analyzing my behavior and a warning alarm was always ready to be ignited. I do not want evolution. I do not wish to see myself walking out from the circle of society I have build so far. I do not wish to be different. I just wanted a simple life, and soon a wealthy one. But, there are situations where I am indeed yearning for a trial, an experience, a taste of humanity; a taste of what people described as life. I am yearning for those, looking forward for more life exposure. However, as I proceed, I am always surrounded by guilt; engulfed in the flame of fear, surrounded by the laughter of sinisterly evil and wicked souls. I am in much doubt, trying to sustain and control, and perhaps disabling myself would lead to a better outcome. Every single moment, what I did, will always be reviewed and I always regret my own decision but I still proceed with it. Somehow, I am a hypocrite to begin with, but I am very clear of my path, of my life and of my future. Whoever I am does not matter to me. I am everybody - just another person walking down the road in the streets of people.
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